So the job I was contacted for randomly via email (I am still not sure how that job agency found my CV online) was a bit misleading.
Firstly, I had a bad feeling about the fact I was seemingly not allowed to know more about the role until I went down to the agency, which was annoying. For the money offered, I was expecting an Administrative Assistant role, not an actual Administrator. I’ve seen Administrative Assistant jobs advertised for more money than what was being offered for an Administrator. The company would’ve paid for my training and all that… if I had got the job. I didn’t have an interview in the end, it was fairly obvious I wouldn’t be picked for it, I have no Admin experience and due to lots of typing in the past few years my handwriting on the form I was filling out was pretty crap. I also must’ve minced my words a little because the lady talking to me about it mistook what I was saying about my skin treatment and thought I’d said I was trying for a baby. Pfft, babies hate me, and most definitely not. Oh, in case you’re wondering why I mentioned it, I was noting that I have to have regular blood/pregnancy tests in order to continue to use the drug. So I have to have a blood test in two weeks, and everyone knows how much I *love* those

I made the decision also based on my current ’status’. So my doctor told me recently that part of the reason for some tummy troubles I’ve had lately, was due to stress. A common side effect of the drug I started taking yesterday for my acne is depression of sorts. While I hope I don’t get that side effect, that teamed up with stress about the fact I have no money (which you’d think would be sorted out by having a job), and the idea of having to train for a role I didn’t want in the first place. I want to work in the media industry. Be it an Office assistant at first, or some sort of trainee. I want to learn more about what I enjoy…get better at what I enjoy. I don’t want to work as an Administrator. I felt like I’d been backed into a corner with this whole thing, so I wasn’t feeling particularly happy about it at all. I wouldn’t feel right accepting the job if it were offered either, knowing I didn’t really want to do it, and that at the first opportunity I’d rather be doing a job in an area of my interests. It wouldn’t be right to ask them to spend time/money training me for something. I’m too nice and think too much about others, obviously

I also had to go into town around 9am this morning to find some trousers to wear, since I couldn’t find my one pair of black trousers anywhere. At least…I have them for ‘next time’. Finally found a pair in H&M….which gets a cookie for having at least 10 styles of black trousers. I found a comfy pair which I can wear with both my flats and my heels. I wore my flats around today, and it was the first time I’ve properly walked in them. I have some lovely blisters.
Where are the square toed shoes these days? My heels are square toed! They’re totally comfy! I love them, they’re lovely, but I don’t like feeling so tall with them on Kinda draws more attention to me which I do not want.. just yet.

If I can’t get any of the web-related roles I’ve applied for, I’d be content with a job in a photography shop/studio in Southampton that I applied for last friday. They want someone with ‘web site skills’ which I have. Two things I enjoy…I figure that will be relatively stress free, I’ll enjoy it somewhat, and I’ll be able to complete my roaccutane treatment in peace. It is sort of a vicious circle when it comes to my acne, so I need to take it out the equation. Even if it means that I’m thirsty lots and keep having to apply lip balm. Either those side effects are immediate or its a coincidence. But I’ll be drinking gallons of tea today… and actually feeling thirsty to do so. Normally I just drink it because I like it